Travel Diary » Holy crap we lost our kid
Holy crap we lost our kid
What's your worst family travel nightmare? Unsurprisingly mine is that something will happen to one of the kids. Sure I freak just slightly on takeoff and landing that we're going to crash, much to Colin's amusement. I may have even squealed quietly on our recent landing in Crete after a lot of turbulence and a hairy landing. But that's not my big fear.
One of my biggest fears is one of our children getting lost in a city where they don't speak the language and have no clue where we're staying or how to get in contact with us. I don't mean just separated from us in a crowd or in the next aisle in a shop. I mean like a bus or train pulling away with one child not on board.
I'm not sure if it's just me or a 'Mum' thing, but every time we climb on a train or bus in a new city I have a split second vision of what would happen if the doors shut and one of the kids wasn't on yet. We're always really careful getting on trains to make sure we get on together but still, every time I have that brief 'what if' scenario flash through my head.
What if the train pulls out and one of the kids was still on the platform?
Which is what happened today.
After two glorious days wandering around Athens, a city I really wasn't expecting to love as much as I have, exploring the Acropolis, the old streets and museums, we woke to a wet morning. We decided to spend the morning booking tickets to our next destination and checking out malls. On the way home the metro train was already at the station so we raced down the stairs, pushed the kids through the doors and jumped on ourselves.
That's when the doors started to close. Colin was halfway through when they started to shut on him. Unlike trains in other countries that we've visited, these doors didn't spring back open as soon as they detected an object in the doorway. They just kept closing. And closing. Colin pushed them back, squeezed through and held them while I tried to get through.
All the while picturing me not making it onto the train.
Finally I got in, the doors finally sprang open for a few seconds and then closed as the train took off.
That's when Noah started screaming in utter panic: "My sister, my sister ... she's out THERE!".
And we looked ... there was Hayley on the platform with terror just starting to touch the edges of her eyes.
What? How did she get there? We put her on the train.
I ran to the door and pulled the emergency signal.
Yes I knew exactly where it was - paranoid Mum that I am I'd looked for it the first time we'd caught a metro train in Athens a few days ago.
The train stopped. It had only moved a meter or two. But the doors weren't opening.
And Hayley was still outside, all by herself at 4 years old on an empty platform.
I started babbling into the speaker near the emergency signal what the problem was, hoping there was someone at the other end. Someone finally responded, I have no clue what they said. And then silence. Followed by more silence.
The doors were still closed. Did they not get what the problem was? Why wouldn't the doors open so we could get to our child?
That's when I froze. I had no idea what to do except keep looking at Hayley and babbling into the microphone that my daughter was outside in the hope they'd understand. I couldn't think what else to say. I couldn't even think to say 'just open the doors'. At one point in full panic I think I accidentally told them it was my sister that was outside. I have no clue what I was saying.
No I wasn't trying to speak Greek, just English.
Meanwhile Colin had recovered from the initial shock and was yelling at Hayley that it was OK, we'd get her if she just stayed there.
Noah was on the train yelling and crying in pure panic at loosing his sister (a fact that I will be pointing out to him every time he annoys her to just get a reaction for the next month!).
Hayley at this point had lost it and was in full panic, tears running down her face in terror as we stood at the window trying to get to her through closed doors. People arrived on the platform and several ladies started consoling her, trying to figure out where her parents where while we banged on the door and mimed 'us it's us, we're just here but please help'.
The doors still wouldn't open. We didn't know what to do. The ladies stayed with her on the platform hugging her while we looked on yelling that we would get to her soon.
Thankfully another passenger who was a little less panicked than we were pulled the emergency door open lever that we hadn't even thought to look for and hiss, the doors sprang open.
The ladies that had been with her helped Hayley on. We all stood hugging, with people standing around us. One old lady started lecturing us but others stood there making sure she was OK and offering the kids gum to help calm them down as we tried to figure out HOW THIS HAD HAPPENED?
Noah managed to work it out.
When Colin and I were struggling to get through the train doors, Hayley had panicked that we wouldn't get on and ran out the next set of doors to get off the train.
It must have happened all at once - she jumped off as we jumped on. It was just that fast.
The train staff eventually emerged, trying to figure out what the emergency was and looking annoyed that they couldnt' see a problem. Another passenger explained what had happened for us so the staff reset all the levers that had been pulled to stop the train and open the doors.
Meanwhile we just hugged each other for the rest of the journey home and started a long overdue 'what should you do if you get lost' talk with the kids.
So there's our adventurous day! We lost a child on the metro network of Athens. I'm going to be having nightmares for days over this one.
The day has certainly raises an interesting question though - do your kids know what to do if they get separated from the rest of the family in a situation like this? We're definitely going to be talking about it more over the next few days as a family in the hope that if something like this ever happens again the kids will know what to do.
About the Author
Comments (31):
Leave a Comment
TrackBacks
-
βγαλε λε	 on 01/02/2012 5:09pm
Thanks a lot for the article.Much thanks again. Great.
-
Who are we?
Family of four who decided to change their lifestyle & travel the world. Follow our adventures, hear about our mistakes and dream creating your own travel lifestyle
find out about where we have travelled
12/01/2012 6:03am (4 months ago)
It was amazing that the whole situation happened so quickly but took such a long time....
There I was uselessly pulling on the doors to try and open them all the while looking into my panic stricken, hysterically crying daughters eyes! Wow, I don't think I have ever felt so helpless.
At this point is time I am very thankful to the lovely people who were on the train & platform for helping us.
It is amazing just how easy it can happen.
12/01/2012 6:35am (4 months ago)
Did I ever tell you about the time I left Z on a ferry? between indonesia and malaysia? Which then pulled out? Not a good moment...
12/01/2012 6:39am (4 months ago)
It's funny isn't it Colin. You always think you'll know what to do in something like this and then it happens and you freeze! At least it was both of us freezing!
Theodora - I remember that story. I thought it sounded terrifying at the time ... now I can't even imagine how horrifying it must have been. Guessing what we experienced today times 100. Something for us all to laugh over one day I guess.
12/01/2012 7:06am (4 months ago)
HUGS to all of you. That's just terrible!! BUT... if you travel long enough, it happens and it's (almost) always okay. We lost Elisha at five years old in Merida, Mexico. Terrifying 20 minutes trying to find him in our third language. When they were little we tagged our kids with pertinent info like hotel name, cell phone numbers, etc. and tucked those into their clothes where they could be found if needed but not seen by creepy people. Once they were six-ish and up we have an organized protocol for that exact situation and every kid knows it. The only person we've lost that way on a train was Grandma, in Washington DC and our four year old at the time was FREAKING OUT because "Grandma doesn't know the DRILL!!!" Needless to say, Grandma knew the drill. But the kid proved himself successfully programmed "in case of emergency." Breathe slowly, hug each other a lot, the terror will pass. You're GREAT parents, by the way!!
12/01/2012 7:39am (4 months ago)
Oh my gosh, I was paniced just reading this! I can´t even imagine. Miro and I have a plan if something happens to me, but he´s older and resourceful . Wow.
Bet you both had a nice cocktail last night.
12/01/2012 8:52am (4 months ago)
Clutch! That is some seriously good parenting! And Noah is a stud for yelling that out!
Stuff like this can happen anywhere, at anytime. To be able to react so quickly and get it done in a foreign land is remarkable.
Once a 700 pound pig made a move to charge at us and I bolted. I left the kids standing there frozen. What a loser. They would have been trampled. Luckily the pig was just adjusting himself. Lesson learned - no more pigs. At least you reacted quick! Well, it does sound like Colin froze a bit.
And it is a great question. What would we do?
Hello to our next stage of planning. Let the research begin.
So happy you're all OK.
12/01/2012 8:55am (4 months ago)
We had a similar experience, although not quite as scary as yours, in Berlin. We pulled into the station and my wife took the kids to the platform. I was handing out our luggage and walking to the door with the final piece when the train started to pull away. My poor wife had no money, phone, passport or anything. I sat there and mouthed through the window, "just wait here." I thought the next stop was Dresden and that she would have to wait for a minumum of 5 hours in the Berlin train station. As it turned out, the train stopped in one final station on the outskirts of Berlin and I was back in about an hour. It can be scary. I wrote about it on our blog: http://worldfamilytravellers.blogspot.com/2011/12/just-stay-right-here-as-train-pulls-out.html
Thanks for sharing your story!
12/01/2012 9:42am (4 months ago)
That must have felt like such a ridiculously long time! Glad you got her back, though.
12/01/2012 10:03am (4 months ago)
I was left on a train station platform and that image is impressed in my brain. I do not know how it was resolved - I always made sure I was in the right place after that so I would not get left behind
12/01/2012 10:38am (4 months ago)
So glad you got the train stopped! Scary moment for sure!
We've talked a lot about what to do if we get separated. The boys know they are to just STAY STILL!! We will do the wandering around looking; they will stay still. So far we're still together after having traveled in many dozens of countries so it much work.
Does that lessen the panic when it does happen? Absolutely not.
12/01/2012 10:54am (4 months ago)
That must have been very scary for you guys, and so easy to happen. Glad all turned out ok in end, hope your blood pressure has come down after that stress xx
12/01/2012 12:33pm (4 months ago)
Scary (but well written) story! When I was about 7/8, I got on an elevator ahead of my parents, and of course the doors closed before they could get it. I've never forgotten it but it has made me more attuned to those situations. But still u can foresee everything all the time. These situations can happen anywhere though, even at home. End of the day, the kids just have to have a general awareness of who they can go to and their own names, etc.
12/01/2012 12:43pm (4 months ago)
Oh my goodness!!!!! I can't even imagine your panic! I am taking your experience as a lesson for myself to teach the kids what to do if we ever get separated. Hmmmm....what should we do?
12/01/2012 1:09pm (4 months ago)
We are traveling RTW with our 10 year old and my greatest fear (and hers) is her getting lost. We have a drill for metro/bus situations but there's so many other situations that could happen. So relieved to hear everything worked out!!
12/01/2012 1:30pm (4 months ago)
Wow, the same thing happened to me in Bangkok, or I should say almost happened. From that point on I have had the discussions of what to do with the kids but I am not so sure how far that would go with my 4 year old. I think the safest bet is to tell the child to stay put! I will most likely know where they were left so I think it is the best plan. Another thing we try to do but admittedly don't always do is have each kids with a business card from the hotel on them. It is usually written in a way that anyone can understand it (English and whatever native language to where you are)!
Scary, so glad it resolved quickly and you were able to see her the whole time! Now Theodora what is this about the ferry??
Thanks fort writing this post, it reminds us all to have a plan and discuss it with the kids often!
12/01/2012 3:46pm (4 months ago)
When we got B back after losing him for SIX HOURS in the jungle in Northern Laos I honestly felt that I'd rather fit him back into my body than ever lose him again!
Glad this all worked out in the end for you.
12/01/2012 3:55pm (4 months ago)
Thanks everyone. I think the heartrate has come down now and Hayley seems fine unless we mention it ... then she starts crying again. I think it will take a while for her to forget this one, if ever! I'm liking the simple idea of business cards of the hotel we're staying in in the kids pockets.
@Jen Miller - I love the story of your son freaking out cause Grandma didn't know the drill. Two days ago if you had of told me you had a full drill that the kids knew I would have thought that was a bit overkill ... now I think it's one of the best examples of great parenting I know.
@Scott - Wow that would have been scary for you and your wife. Can you imagine if the next stop had of been Dresden.
@Justin - I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but the mental picture of you running from the pig with the kids still standing there is hilarious. The human brain is a funny old thing isn't it. Never quite works how you'd think it would. I broke my arm when I was 13 and ended up giving everyone around me orders for what to do while they all lost composure. Then along come the kids, Hayley splits her head open at the park (tiny two stitches cut) and where am I while she's at the doctors? Sitting outside trying not to throw up.
12/01/2012 4:22pm (4 months ago)
@Wandermom - 6 hours lost in the jungle, half of it while dark. I'm getting chills from reading your story. I think your son showed great composure and decision making when he decided to walk to the village once he realised he was lost.
12/01/2012 5:17pm (4 months ago)
Tracy, I am so glad it turned out okay, but it is good advice to remind the kids what to do when we get separated or lost. It is funny, I think we do a pretty good job if we are at a "tourist destination" to tell kids what to do, but I don't think we have ever had the talk about what happens if we get separated in transit. Seriously glad everything is okay.
12/01/2012 7:43pm (4 months ago)
Holy $hit! We had this fear as well - negotiating 3 kids and all our bags on and off those trains with those huge gaps on a crowded platform .... Ugh. So glad Hayley is ok!
13/01/2012 12:06am (4 months ago)
God, Tracy, what a story (well-written, too). Good for Noah for spotting Hayley on the platform in the first place. At least you guys pulled the emergency brake. I think I might have just started screaming or something. So glad all ended well.
We've discussed "what happens if..." scenarios with our daughter a few times, but I realize we need to review them more often.
Again, glad all ended well.
14/01/2012 5:23am (4 months ago)
Wow! I'm sooooo glad I read this. Not one of the emergency scenarios I had prepared for and yet a totally plausible one given our 4 kids and scattered attention span. Thanks for sharing!
16/01/2012 12:32pm (4 months ago)
This is why I never take 3 kids anywhere! ;) I know it would have been really scary but the way you have written I can;t stop giggling- maybe that nervous sort of laugh-. Hope everyone settles back down and enjoys their adventures xxx
17/01/2012 1:57pm (4 months ago)
Okay, that is one of my worst nightmares! I was actually panicked just reading it! We have also lost a child while traveling. It was at the Albuquerque Balloon Festival and he was gone for about 30 minutes. The tragic thing was that we had told the older two kids what to do if they were separated, but we didn't tell the five year old because we were *sure* that we wouldn't let him out of our sight.
17/01/2012 10:09pm (4 months ago)
Thanks everyone.
@Jessica - yikes 30 minutes at a busy festival must have been scary. We've never really spoken much with Hayley about what to do before now as we never really let her out of our sight either and we thought she was too young to not panic in that situation and forget.
@Bron - glad we could make you giggle. I keep laughing at how much we froze as well!
18/01/2012 10:08pm (4 months ago)
We must keep an eye on our children whenever we go on a holiday. The best thing we can do to ensure their safety and security is to make they wear an identity card or know their address.
26/01/2012 1:16am (4 months ago)
Jeepers creepers, that's scary. I like to think I'd stay where I was, but I really don't know.
26/01/2012 1:22am (4 months ago)
But, thinking about myself, on the ferry, screaming in horror as it pulled away from mum, throwing my book at and yelling at the (quite amused (they were just making way for a bigger boat)) crew, I'm not so sure.
26/01/2012 6:45pm (4 months ago)
Hooley Dooley. This is my nightmare. And it reminds me that although we had a great 'what if' plan in our last spot,we haven't come up with one here.
It's hard when your mobile number changes every country.
At home we have 1) stay together 2) find a lady with kids and ask her for help
Glad Hayley's ok!!
My four yr old is very scarred by an elevator experience he had in Singapore . It upsets him, but it's kind of useful, because he'll never go in one alone.
28/01/2012 7:52pm (4 months ago)
Zac - I think anything short of jumping overboard to swim back to Mum is dealing with the situation well, even throwing your book and screaming at people!You stayed where you should and calmed yourself down, bonus points for that!
Jill - Our son got stuck in an elevator in Vietnam just before his 5th birthday. He was alone, it was a race of Dad/stairs and boy/lift. Not one of our best ideas it turns out! He was a bit freaked but recovered quickly. I hope your son gets over the experience soon. Hayley is still very upset by it all - we missed a bus the other day and she started screaming and crying. We were all together, no one on the bus, it just pulled out before we got there. This week we're in a ski resort and getting on/off the gondola is a huge trauma. Of course the fear is forgotten two seconds later and she's back to eating snacks and playing in the snow.
04/02/2012 5:31pm (3 months ago)
OMG! As a mum with a 3 and 4 year old my heart goes out to you... Thank god you're all okay.